Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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