I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
