yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
