We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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