Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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