got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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