This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
