i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize