So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wow bdsm is so cute
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