she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and she was petting her beer can
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
