Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize