Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
