it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
farters have to be the big spoon...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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