Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
