so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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