I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
