The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
