Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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