You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sext me about skeletons
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
