It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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