Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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