That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
