don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
