think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
