I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
