I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize