Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She's the barista slut.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
