OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
