Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize