He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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