I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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