Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
