Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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