I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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