You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
