Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
