what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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