he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
