He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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