you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
