I am in a vortex of obligation.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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