a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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