I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
