You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
