I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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