Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
