Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
