I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm lost and stupid without you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
