the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
