I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
