I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
