I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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