So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
