yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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