I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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