We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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