so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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