Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
