just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
