If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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