So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
