you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
