but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
