This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
