i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
