Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Even my vagina gasped.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
