So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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