Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
