He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
