He kissed a someone with a penis
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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