You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
