I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
