That's intense
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
