There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
