He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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