dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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