Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
