he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
