Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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