just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
